Domestic Violence Prevention Programme (DVPP)
Solace Women’s Aid Domestic Violence Prevention Programme (DVPP) is a free group based programme that supports men who have had a history of being violent or abusive towards a female partner and want support changing their behaviour.
Q: How do I know if the programme is right for me?
A: Take our relationship check below. If you answer “yes” to any of the questions then you should speak with one of our workers or call anyway to talk things through. The worker can arrange an assessment to help you understand your behaviour and if the programme is what you need.
Relationship Check – does any of the following apply to me?
- My partner sometimes appears scared of me
- My children get distressed when my partner and I argue
- My children seem afraid of me sometimes
- Arguments with my partner are getting worse (louder/happening more often)
- On occasion arguments have reached a point where I’m “physical” with my partner (grabbing, pulling, restraining, slapping, punching, kicking etc.)
- On occasion arguments have reached a point where I shout at my partner and call her names
- I find myself criticising my partner – telling her she’s “stupid”, “a bad mum”, “useless”, “that she won’t manage without me”
- I tell myself I only behaved in an angry way because “I drank too much”, “She wound me up”, “I’m stressed”, “I was provoked”, “I just lost it”, “she deserved it”
- After arguing I feel guilty about how I behaved, anxious or depressed
- I don’t feel I can control how I behave on occasion
Q: I’m still not sure it’s for me. Are you just going to sit me in a room full of “wife beaters” I’m not like that?
A: There’s often a stereotype about the type of men who attend our programme. The fact is that the men we see come from a range of backgrounds, careers and different life experiences. The thing they have in common is that they behave in ways that makes both them and their partners unhappy.
Q: Why would I need a programme to help me change?
A: Most of us underestimate how easy it is to change a pattern of behaviour. It’s likely that you’ve already done things like apologise and tell your partner or children that you won’t behave badly again and then you have. Or things calmed down for a while and you convinced yourself you’ve changed only to start repeating what happened before. Most problems don’t simply go away. We usually need support in resolving them. Calling us can be the first part of that process.
Q: What about my partner? She’s got issues too.
A: As part of our programme we will offer your partner a separate confidential support service. However, the DVPP is a chance for you to look at your behaviour and the changes you wish to make. Sometimes one of the hardest things to learn is that you only have control over the way you behave and react. You can’t control the behaviour of others, even if you might like to or think you are doing so for the right reasons.
Q: How long does the programme last?
A: The programme lasts for 26 weeks and each session is for 2.5 hours one evening a week.
Q: That seems like a long time – why do I need to make that sort of commitment?
A: There is no “quick fix” for changing a pattern of behaviour. We find that the men we speak to need time to learn new ways of behaving and to understand why they are behaving as they are. We also know that different people learn in different ways and again this takes time. Also, research on programmes like ours shows they are successful. Most men who complete the programme manage to change their behaviour.
Q: Ok. So how do I join the programme?
A: It’s very simple. Call us on 07500 058 135 to speak with someone. If they are unable to speak to you right a way you can leave a message and they will call you back. They will then arrange a convenient time to see you and discuss the programme with you to see if it would be useful. If you are already getting support from other professionals such as a GP or Keyworker then you might want to discuss this with them first. If they need to call us they can.
Q: Then what happens after we meet?
A: Once you’ve had a chance to talk things through with us, if we think the programme is going to be helpful we will invite you to begin attending the main programme. We will write to you confirming this and offer a start date.