Customize Consent Preferences

We use cookies to help you navigate efficiently and perform certain functions. You will find detailed information about all cookies under each consent category below.

The cookies that are categorized as "Necessary" are stored on your browser as they are essential for enabling the basic functionalities of the site. ... 

Always Active

Necessary cookies are required to enable the basic features of this site, such as providing secure log-in or adjusting your consent preferences. These cookies do not store any personally identifiable data.

No cookies to display.

Functional cookies help perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collecting feedback, and other third-party features.

No cookies to display.

Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics such as the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.

No cookies to display.

Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.

No cookies to display.

Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with customized advertisements based on the pages you visited previously and to analyze the effectiveness of the ad campaigns.

No cookies to display.

Stories from the women we support

Read more about how Solace are supporting women who have faced emotional abuse.

Ellie’s story

‘I feel brave, and I am not frightened anymore. I feel so much stronger now and I am slowly getting back doing the things that I used love doing, like dancing. I still feel anxious about being re-homed, but I am hopeful that it will happen soon’.  

Ellie explained that Solace saved her life when she was in crisis. She described herself as a mess when she first fled; not knowing how to handle the trauma she was going through. Having someone from Solace who listened to her and guided her, helped her to become a more rounded person, able to manage situations and herself better, such as being able to self-regulate. She is very grateful to Solace and hopes to return to seek further support when her current court hearing is over.

Paulette’s Story

‘On the outside and to others he would come across as a very good man. When I was depressed at this time, I would cry every single day. I did not know how to take care of a baby because I was not prepared. My heart was not prepared, and my brain was not prepared’.

Every time when I feel my depression, I can talk to my Solace support worker because she is a good listener, good adviser. Her voice has a way of making us feel calm and comfort. She knows how to comfort people and encourage them to talk more about what is happening for them.

My support worker has been very good helping me to become more confident parenting. She printed out strategies ‘how to do this…’ ‘how to do that…’ and so whenever I am confused, I can go back to that and read the paper again. She taught me how to calm down from my anger. She taught me to do box breathing to help me calm down. I have found this very helpful. 

Since working with my her, I have played with my daughter for the first time. Before I would not play with her, every time she would ask me to play with her, I would scold her because I was busy and I did not know how to play, because when I was small nobody played with me, I only learnt how to scold. My support worker is very patient, both for adults and children. I have been watching the way she takes care of the children, her eyes are always watching them.

I brought my children to the end of summer party. It was very good, I really enjoyed it. There were so many activities for my daughter, e.g. painting, snacks and bouncy castle, and I could also have a massage. 

I am happy because I have my support worker and my refuge worker. I am happy that I came here to refuge because there is so much knowledge that I did not know before. Solace always has a new class with new knowledge, and I am waiting for these.

Marion’s Story

‘The hardest part is putting yourself first to make the step in the first place when you are so used to feeling like no one will care about you because you have been abused by people who are making you reel worthless. It is important to put yourself first and get yourself out of that situation.’ 

Having the courage to realise there is more to life than this cycle. Once you get to Solace, there is a lot of help. You will realise things about yourself you were not able to realise before such as behavioural patterns and unconscious ways of behaving that can get brought to your conscious mind through the rest you get at the refuge. You can come to the refuge and reflect on what has happened, it is so worth that journey. 

The most important thing that Solace have provided me is that I am believed, this is a safe place for me to share what my truth is and their helping me realise things through the key work sessions and general conversations with them about myself.

As I come from toxic environment and the people here are able to see things from all kinds of our perspectives and this is helping to shape to become a better person, and I am grateful for that. 

Being believed is heart-warming that people are on my side.

Even though you may feel like the abuse is your fault because of the way you have been conditioned by these abusers. Coming to Solace and getting yourself out of that toxic situation, you will be able to recognise it is not your fault the way someone abuses even when you feel like this is down to you. It is worth taking that first to contact Solace for support. 

Manuela’s story

When asked who had been emotionally abusing her she said

 -‘Men’

‘emotional abuse goes back to childhood’ 

‘The abuse from other people can grind you down’

‘A lot of homelessness is pain’

‘when you feel angry, you just want someone to blame’

‘Addicts carry a lot of pain’

‘I come to the office to tell staff so I don’t have to carry it around on my own’

Danika’s story

Danika has found throughout her life of abuse that keeping quiet is the best thing to do, people will either not believe you, judge you for being in the situation and not leaving, feel you’re weak and pathetic etc or if professional people she would feel like just another ‘battered woman’. Solace is the first organisation (which she also found with her VS officer) that really made her feel, every day, that they care. That she is strong, that she can move on and be a functioning member of society, that abuse is not her identity. 

Before coming to Solace Danika said “I felt that I was drowning, sinking, unable to rise to the surface, it got to the point where my mental health was so badly affected, I had to go into a recovery house”. Danika goes on to say, “women here at Solace hoisted me out of the water and onto a lifeboat”.

If you need support then contact us on advice@solacewomensaid.org

*images are stock images and names have been changed to protect anonymity.