Conversations about inclusion are rarely easy. They can feel uncomfortable, awkward and uncertain. Yet in organisations supporting women and children rebuilding their lives after abuse, creating space for these conversations is not optional – it is essential.

Four years ago, we set out to do something different.

Rather than delivering another awareness session on equity, diversity and inclusion, we co-developed Courageous Conversations with colleagues across our organisation to tackle the subtle, everyday microaggressions staff encounter in their work. These can come from service users, colleagues or professionals from partner organisations such as the police, commissioners and funders. Often they occur in situations where relationships are delicate and trust is still being built. Responding effectively requires empathy, expert tact and considerable skill.

Our ambition was never to stop at simply explaining what microaggressions are. It was to equip colleagues with practical tools to recognise them, respond compassionately and preserve the relationships that matter most.

Making the invisible visible

Microaggressions may appear insignificant in isolation, but their cumulative impact can be profound. They can leave people feeling excluded, diminished and worthless, even when no offence was intended.

Through identity mapping, facilitated discussion and realistic role-play, Courageous Conversations encourages colleagues to reflect on their own experiences of instances when they have been excluded, the bystander or, at times, the person who unintentionally caused harm. By combining reflection with practical scenarios, the training helps colleagues recognise subtle behaviours and develop the confidence to respond constructively.

From calling out to calling in

At the heart of the programme is the principle of calling in.

Publicly criticising someone rarely achieves the behaviour change we desire. More often, it leads to defensiveness. Instead, participants learn compassionate techniques that encourage curiosity, accountability and meaningful dialogue while maintaining trust and dignity for everyone involved.

Every participant leaves with practical guidance, inclusive language and conversation tools they can use immediately – in the workplace and beyond.

Learning that lasts

One of the most rewarding outcomes has been hearing how the behaviour change extends far beyond the workplace. Colleagues regularly share examples of when they have used these techniques with family, friends and in their wider communities, approaching difficult conversations with greater confidence and empathy.

Over four years, the feedback has been remarkably consistent.

“The training challenged my unconscious bias, raised my awareness around cultural issues and reminded me how different people can experience situations in many different ways.”

“It doesn’t have to be difficult to say something and have those conversations – and it is always better to say something.”

For us, these comments capture the purpose of Courageous Conversations. The programme is not about having perfect answers. It is about giving people the confidence to interrupt exclusion, ask thoughtful questions and become active upstanders rather than passive bystanders.

Building an inclusive culture

Training alone does not create an inclusive culture. Culture is shaped by the choices people make every day: speaking up, challenging assumptions and treating others with compassion when mistakes happen.

Courageous Conversations has helped establish a shared language across our organisation and underpins our annual Inclusion Awards, where colleagues anonymously nominate peers who have demonstrated outstanding allyship and inclusion. By recognising those who choose to act – often when no one else is watching – we reinforce the culture we want to build.

It is a constant reminder that inclusion is not the responsibility of an EDI team alone. Every member of the team has the power to impact the culture.

More than a training course

Four years on, Courageous Conversations continues to evolve, informed by participant feedback and the realities of frontline work. Its purpose, however, remains unchanged: to create honest dialogue, encourage reflection and give colleagues practical skills to become better advocates for one another – and, most importantly, for the women and children we support.

Because courageous conversations do more than change minds.

They change cultures. And, ultimately, they help change lives.