Staying safe on dating apps

Using dating apps can feel daunting, especially for those who have experienced abuse in the past. Creating a safety plan can help people feel more confident and comfortable using dating apps and enjoying new connections. Here are some steps that can help make dating experiences safer. 

Setting up your profile:

• Don’t use photographs or state information that indicates where you live or work 
• Use dating apps that make their users verify their profiles 
• Block and report suspicious users 
• Be yourself- this is the only way you’ll attract people you’ll get on with 
• Never send money or share financial information with anyone you match with 
• If you think something on the app could be improved to make you and others feel safer, contact the app 
• Go at your own pace, you don’t need to rush to meet someone, give out your number or any private details unless you are ready to do so – you are in control 

Before you meet:

• Make sure your phone is charged and you have your house keys 
• Screenshot their profile before meeting 
• You can always ask to check out your potential date on social media (if they have it) 
• Arrange to meet somewhere public like a restaurant, bar, park or market 
• Tell a friend where you are going and set up a code word that means you need help 
• You can also download a personal safety app such as bSafe, Hollie Guard, Walk Safe or share your location with a friend on find my friends or Whatsapp for the entire date 
• Move to messaging via text/numbers if that makes you feel at ease, similarly them not having your number might suit you better
• Video chat/speak on the phone before meeting, this might make you feel more comfortable meeting in person – some apps let you do this via the app
• Work out how you can get to and from the date on public transport 

On the date:

• If something doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts- end the date 
• You don’t need to disclose everything about your personal life if you don’t want to 
• Don’t leave your drink, your phone or personal items unattended 
• No matter if you flirt, kiss or go home with the person you are allowed to say no, change your mind or leave at any point in the date 
• If you do decide you’d like to be sexually intimate with the person, make sure you use protection 
• If you go to an unknown location, send your safe person your location and you can create a check in system 
• When you get to the location of the date work out how you can leave safely if needed 

If something bad happens: 

• Ask for help from a waitress, bartender, shop keeper or someone around you 
• If you leave and they follow you or you try to leave and they do not let you ask for help, text your safe person a code word, make a scene to get help 
• Call 999 if you need urgent help, if you don’t want the person to hear you press 55 when the operator has answered 
• Call someone your safe person to help you 
• Go to the nearest open shop, restaurant, bar and ask for help 
• Rape crisis helpline: 08088 029999 
• National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 08082 000247 

Remember, abuse is never your fault. The responsibility always lies with the person who chooses to cause harm. You deserve to feel safe, respected and in control of your own choices.